Have you ever sent someone a message, watched the two blue ticks appear, and then… nothing?
Minutes turned into hours. Hours turned into a day. Before long, your mind had already written an entire story.
“I must have offended them.”
“Maybe they are avoiding me.”
“Did I say something wrong?”
Then, a day later, your phone rings.
“I’m so sorry! My day has been so hectic. I wanted to reply but completely forgot.”
Suddenly, every conclusion you had reached disappeared in an instant.
Or perhaps you greeted someone across the road and they walked straight past you without acknowledging you. You immediately concluded they were angry with you. Later, you discovered they simply never saw you.
Sound familiar?
If your answer is yes, welcome to being human.
Our minds are remarkable. Every second of every day, the brain receives an astonishing amount of information. It processes what we see, hear, smell, remember, imagine and feel, all while helping us make countless decisions, many without us even realising it.
If the brain carefully analysed every single piece of information before making a decision, we would struggle to function. Imagine having to consciously decide how to walk, blink, read, speak or cross the road every single time. Life would become exhausting.
To make life easier, the brain has developed a remarkable ability to take shortcuts. These shortcuts help us make quick judgments, recognise familiar situations and respond rapidly to the world around us. Most of the time, they serve us well.
Sometimes, however, these same shortcuts can lead us astray.
Instead of seeing things as they truly are, we begin to see them through the lens of our assumptions, fears, past experiences and expectations. We mistake possibilities for facts. We fill in missing information with stories our minds create. We become convinced that what we are thinking must automatically be true.
The truth is, not every thought deserves to be believed. The human brain is designed to help us make sense of the world quickly. To do this, it often relies on mental shortcuts. Most of the time, these shortcuts are helpful. They allow us to make decisions, recognise patterns and respond to situations without having to analyse every detail.
Sometimes, however, these shortcuts become distorted. Psychologists call these cognitive distortions. Don’t let the term intimidate you. A cognitive distortion is simply an unhelpful pattern of thinking that twists the way we see ourselves, other people or the situations around us. It is like looking through a pair of glasses with smudged lenses. The world has not changed, but what you see is no longer completely accurate.
Cognitive distortions are part of being human. Every one of us experiences them from time to time. They become a problem only when we begin to accept every distorted thought as if it were an unquestionable fact.
Think about the last time you worried endlessly before a medical appointment, only to discover everything was fine. Or the interview you were convinced you had failed, only to receive a job offer a few days later. Or the friend you believed was upset with you until you found out they had been dealing with challenges of their own.
How many hours did your mind spend suffering over something that never actually happened? This is one of the reasons emotional well-being is not only about managing what happens around us; it is also about learning to recognise when our minds may be distorting reality.
One of the most powerful habits we can develop is the ability to pause before accepting every thought as truth. The next time you catch yourself thinking, “They must be angry with me,” pause for a moment. Ask yourself:
“Do I actually know this for a fact?”
“What real evidence do I have?”
“Is there another possible explanation I haven’t considered?”
These three simple questions can save you from unnecessary worry, misunderstandings and emotional distress. This does not mean our thoughts are useless. Far from it. Our thoughts help us solve problems, make decisions and protect ourselves from genuine danger. But they are not always accurate. Sometimes they are simply guesses dressed up as certainty. Learning to tell the difference can completely change the way we relate to ourselves and to others.
Over the next few weeks, we will unpack some of the most common cognitive distortions that quietly influence our everyday lives. We will explore why we overthink, why we expect the worst, why we jump to conclusions, why one criticism can feel heavier than ten compliments, and many other hidden thinking traps that shape our emotions, relationships and daily decisions. By understanding these distortions, we can begin to see ourselves and the world more clearly.
Mind Exercise: Before reacting to a worrying thought this week, pause and ask yourself:
Is this a fact or just my interpretation?
What evidence actually supports this?
Could there be another explanation I haven’t considered?
You may be surprised how often your mind fills in the blanks without enough evidence.
Until next week, remember this: Not every thought deserves your belief.
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